Welcome to life-isnt-fun-without-you.blogspot.com

A : lamer! wat u did for todae?
me : huggin cj7...

its the 2nd day now...

the conversation with my mum juz nw...
mum : eh~ 你不舒服 arh?
me : huh? 没有啦。。。 *and continue lying on the sofa, like someone dead(or watever u call tat)*

cant concentrate on anything i did juz nw...

my hair's in a mess nw...

got some new cuts todae... one got 'internal bleeding'.. at the finger dere... can see the blood but it doesnt flow out... so internal bleedin lor... another one at the leg.. while carry-ing some boxes up, kana cut by it... (the boxes in plastic bags.. edges sharp) and the old cut at my arm dere suddenly very pain todae.. dunno why...

love the dark these few days... wat is tat supposed to mean?

was thinkin juz nw... if tmr's oral's abt 自残 then good liao... dunno if tat topic came out be4.. hmm... hope its not on wat news things... esp 个案题...

tats all.. back to emo-in... and maybe studying...

p.s. i love you ...
2th dae...

hmm... first week of sch was ok ba... juz tat for the first day, kept dozin off during lesson time... OMG la~ oh... we received a badge from eng teacher... :] tks! "watever it takes" eh~ :] i'll keep it for the rest of my life.. haha! :] :] :]

talentime's ytd... went dere support xianwei,wanting... and cheered for some dancers... so sad.. some of the results were not wat i tot/wanted it to be... but its nice anyway...

ohya... i predicted that i would call a lot a lot on fridae and i am right... heng i charged my phone the dae before.. if not i dun nid go home liao... HAHA! most of u wont understand eh~

went to my aunt's hse todae... dinner was so much things la~ cant finish though theres many(to me) ppl dere...

lol... i suddenly like 做得到 by show luo... nice la.. so, maybe changin my blogsong to tat...

the talk(do u call it tat?) with grace chew... was very good... let me 'organise' my thoughts a bit... and so, sth for grace... :]
haha! tks leh~ if not for u i wouldnt know wat to do tat dae... maybe i wont even go home lor~ and then will walk around and around and around... and... dun 高估 me la~ i really not so gd like wat u sae de... :P thats wat i think... and and.. tks for being such a GREAT FRIEND... :] tks! gam xia! xie xie! terimakaseh(?)! :] :] :]

p.s. i love you...
sry for watever wrong things i did...
worried again and again... and dere isnt a dae that i've not been sad at all... and all the hurtful words sure add up to fill up a few bottles...
but nvm... i shall believe that i will pick myself up from the pit i have fallen into... and of course, become a cindy thats not emo at all... but i takes time.. so much time...

todae's a sad dae...

tmr's back to sch... see you everybody! :]

there. two liners... 3 i mean...

p.s. i love you ...
missed..

ahh! worenbuzhulela! haoxniagtnogkuyicnhag! ynigcnaglezijidegansohunamejiule, daodiyoumeiyourendnogah! nimenzhibuzhidaowoyouduonanguo! yizhigaoshuzijiyaolegaun, bunnegynigweiyixiecuozheernanguo, danxainzaiwozehnde... ahh! yizhibeidao, yisuhodaonasigezijiuzourenle! zhibuzhidaowoyouduonanguoah! daonalidoubeirenganzuo, buranjiushibierenkandaowoyaokaojnigtamendeshihoujiukauidainpaodaio! wozehndeyounamexanigguima?! younamexiarenma?! meiciyikaikoujiuhuiyourensuhohua, huadouhaimeisuhojiubeijujuele! woyouduonanguo, nidaodidongbudongarh?! haishishiwoshiyigesahobaxnig, wodaonali, douhuifasenhgyijainhencandeshi, meiyousehnmeshishisuhnlide? nikeyigaoshuwoarh!

if u dunno wat i am typin above, then forget it liao la... if u understand, then i congratulate u first.. then, dun try to change wat i think... if u noe me, should know my character.. super stubborn...

and u did it again... and again... and again... everytime u sae tat... do u know how hurt i am? do u noe how much i think i am not good? do u noe how many times i wanted to cry in front of u(for the 3rd time)? do u noe how many times i really wanna scold u, beat u, till u dong de zen me xiang? i've controlled and controlled and controlled... and i have warn u le... i'll warn u again... and i really mean it... really will super angry... and ignore u...

ahh! is dere someone i can talk to? or rather, is dere someone who is willin to listen to me tok?

tats all...

btw, relax ppl... i will try not to 'go back' to my emo self...

p.s. i love you ...
不要这样了啦 *kneels down & beg*

i thought i have already become strong.. but the tears today proved me wrong..

我好像一把刀，一直伤到人。。。

i'm like a unsuitable key, who keep trying to poke through other's keyhole...

那些笑到底是真的还是假的?

am i too selfish? cuz i keep wanting someone to be my side everytime i am sad... (yes, i am selfish)

某人到底即使才会知道自己做了什么，让别人伤心/生气？

am i weak again?

p.s. i love you ...
for some reason, i kept thinkin i made u like tat... rite? (rite)

hmm... went BISHAN LIBRARY todae... lol.. (understand orh... some gr peeps.. lol... jkjk!) did the chem tys... 1 and half paper... heh... 1more paper to go! :]

watched the 2nd last episode of it started with a kiss... so super luo-man-di-ke... :] ah jin to xiang qin... xiang qin to zhi shu... zhi shu to xiang qin.. :] loves... :] heh heh... dun care liao... todae MUST finish the last episode... lol... wang dong cheng... erm i mean him acting as ah jin... so nice la... made so many things for xiang qin.. :] heh... and puttin the ring in the dessert... lol.. nice la he... :] ah jin ah jin ah jin... (lol... let me crazy over him a while kae? sry...) ah jin... loves... haha! :]

juz founded out tat, 每一个人都需要一个能依靠的肩膀。。。 连一个超坚强的人也需要。。。 你从来都不会想到他几时会崩溃， 甚至在你面前落泪。。。 as i've always said, 一个外表坚强的人， 内心也许是很悲伤的。。。 你不知道他心里有几道疤痕， 你也不知道他所流过的泪水能 fill up how many seas... yupp... tats how sad some of them can be... every little bit of things can make them think a lot, make them feel sad... some are really optimistic, so they good la~ every little bit of things made them think, but on the bright side... some are not though... keep thinking on the dark dark side... even if the thing is supposed to be super hapi de... dey juz have some kind of way to make them sad... yupps..

and and... now really understand how someone can angry until cry... i've seen it, i've felt it...

mou ren ask mou ren is mou ren i willing to change for mou ren... not doin that... and that.. and that...is mou ren willin to? mou ren really wan to noe..

tats all i think... i'll continue watchin... bb...

p.s. i love you ...

hmm.. todae.. went mac... heh.. laughed until siao todae.. lol... ammonia~ lol.. {ok.. onli 2person understands... and btw, to the one who understands, dun po ying liao la... lol... :P} chem is gettin funner liao... hehe... :]

looks like everyone's studyin liao... hmm.. like tat muz start liao... :S

hmm... cant find a topic to tok abt.. nvm.. see tmr how... :P

heh.. short post.. so, bb! :]

now`i`know`why`

p.s. i love you ...
ammonia ammonia ammonia! ：Ｐ：Ｐ：Ｐ

change song to 小脾气 by 卓文宣。。。 its nice nice nice... and maybe the reason y i __... hapi guessin...

not bloggin abt todae..

bloggin abt tmr instead..

lol... tmr MUST pia until siao.. the day after tmr oso... and the nxt... and nxt.. and it continues...

lol... pasted my goals for 'o's on my com.. maybe i should paste prelims de oso... hmm... do it tmr...

tats all... bb...

忍`无`可`忍`
am`i`sad`or`am`i`angry`juz`nw`?`

p.s. i love you ...

lol... postin abt another one of my ''DA dao li''.. again... lol...

what is care? what is concern? what do people mean by showing care and concern? how do they even know if they ever showed care&concern to someone before? if someone cared about another person, would he/she be showing concern for them? is there different 'definitions' of care and concern with different people? if its like tat, the person being cared might not felt being cared if their 'definitions' of care is very high... then, must we show different levels of caring for different kind of people? but what if others get jealous or something?

ok, forget it... maybe its getting stupid.

juz wondered if i really cared for other ppl be4. or am i juz sayin and nort doin, i.e. 子上谈兵. (not sure if its correct.) but if i think i care, would they think i've cared?

another thing..

hate ppl doin tat to me.. ihateitihateitihateit.. grr... so irritating la~ stopitstopitstopit... i cant stand it anymore. if it happens another time, i cant be sure that i will remain calm and not shout my head off. wat if others keep doin tat to u? u would juz sae that two words? grr! grr! super angry liao la! AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHH! *wooow... relax relax*

bb.. the end... forget it if u dunno what i tokin...

still`hopin`for`that`someone`to`appear`
someone`that`is`willin`to`listen`to`my`problems`
someone`who`wont`be`affected`by`them`

p.s. i love you ...

finally bloggin after so long... lol...

genting was ok ba... funner than the other times when i went dere... bought loads of things... for myself, onli bought one 'phone-chain', soft toy, belt and chocs...

and bought a new BILLABONG pencil box.. its BIGGER than the old one... and of course, less girly than tat.. at least it doesnt have a flower on it... :] *yays*

and was doin maths juz nw... super stressed or watever u call it... found out i forgot loads of things.. r formula... differentiation... integration.. the circle thing... loads more.. damn sad la! :'( nvr study maths for 1week + then like tat liao... :'( damn sad... was almost wantin to shout.. do one qn skip one qn... sad liao... (p.s. if u ever see me studying esp when i doin some papers or sth, you should know i will like tat de.. if i dunno how do...)

and was tokin to A juz nw... tats wat A said:" tot of all the talks i had with other ppl... and was thinkin... should i really stop doin all these stuffs and juz revert back to my old self. i mean stop changin myself for the sake of other ppl... since they might not be able to appreciate it.. and maybe stop doin those crazy stuff tat i did for the other party..."

then i startin think a lot liao.. again.. y are some ppl so concerned abt other ppl's feelings and are willin to do anything juz to maintain tat smile on their face? y would they rather bleed loads 'inside' than tell other ppl their tots to lessen their pain? y are they willin to keep awake even though they know wat they are doin for others might not be appreciated and the thing they did might even be found in the dustbin the minute(or even second) after its given to others? y are ppl willin to have a drastic change juz because the other party like it tat way? y? y? y?

and on the 'other side', y are some ppl juz so oblivious of wat other ppl done for them? y do they not give other ppl happiness like wat they have done? y dont they go find out wat other ppl are feelin right now and 对症下药? y dont they find out other's character/watever u call tat and treat them better? y do ppl think of the hurt other ppl have caused them and not think of the hurt they have caused other ppl?

and the qn, "if ur other half and one of ur parents fall into the river, who will u save first?"was thinkin abt it too... hmm... maybe i'll save the one that is willin to sacrifice their life and let me save the other one... if both are willin, save one le then ask god to allow me to 'trade' my life with the other one whose still in the water.

and and dunno whether i've said tiz be4, but, 一个人流浪's my fav song. not because its sung by fahrenheit, but because its very nice... and also cuz i listen for so long le still not sick of tat song... so, i really really like it... and maybe its also cuz its an emo song... or sad...

and and and.. can i be selfish once/again and have someone, all by myself, whose willin to have a heart to heart tok with me, and help me solve those problems and not get affected by me? cuz, maybe i really needed tat... i mean, i really need that...

tats all... cuz not everything can be said.. bb...

personA:try not to bottle everything up...
personB:i cant. i am those kind of ppl tat will bottle everything up, till the bottle overflows...

u've`changed`

p.s i love you ...

woots... step down todae.. super sad... dunno why... it juz comes naturally...

so, ytd's stayin up for the whole nite makin gifts for dance ppl was worth it.. though was tired during lesson time, and even broke my record of slpin in maths lesson, still, i think its super worth it...

yupp... from the start... the pwpt presentation... see le... front part was like laughin/smilin.. then back parts see le sad liao... 4yrs passed too fast liao... yupp... cried even durin the pwpt presentation... lol...

then went dance studio... was readin my speech out. got tiz sentence abt 不会忘记在这里流过的泪水... read liao almost cried.. yupp, again.. then ren-ded.. finished readin the whole thing.. passed the book to sihua and borrowed grace's shoulder.. opps... :X tks anyways.. yupp... then the sec1-3s gave us presents.. was super touched... didnt expect evey lvl to give one.. super touched la! :] tks guys.. i mean gals... :P tat made me cry even more.. but those, tears of joy... :]

then the huggin session thing... made me cry harder.. lol... *hugs hugs* haha! :P

then gave them the gift i did during the nite... hope no one throws it away man.. if not i wil super sad... slp for 1/2 hr nia leh~ but nvm, 牺牲小我完成大我... :] haha!

anyway, now really step down le... i'm still part of dance rite? am i rite? tell me pls... suddenly want to take pics with each and everyone in dance... dunno why...

oh... will be postin the pics i took on tues instead.. busy packin nw.. yupps... so, c it on tues.. :]

bb...

dance`club`a`great`part`of`my`life`
rmb my 名言'! {let dance develop your passion ; let passion enhance your dance} :]

p.s. i love you ...
so suey eh~ me.. keep see-in cooked ppl...

hmm... went my aunt's hse todae.. later then blog abt it.. tok abt my fridge first...

so, got a new fridge on sat.. which is ytd... then the ice thing is those kind tat can turn inside to 'take-out' the ice... dunno how explain tat.. but anyway, kept playin with it.. lol.. first time my hse ice like tat... haha.. lolx..

back to the story.. went aunt's hse... did some maths dere... then watched the zodiac show... lol.. then after tat answered a call.. halfway through, my cousins was tryin to 'camera' me.. i think... lol.. haha! had a hard time blockin... and my head was kana hold-ded.. lol... anyway, was practically laughin throughout the call... lol... and at one point of time, my cousin was lookin at me with the y-u-keep-laughin kind of face.. lol... funny la.. haha! most long calls are always like tat.. haha!

yupp... so, changin my blog song to.. erm.. was meant to be changed tmr mornin, but since i have sch, change todae.. the song lasts for one dae onli... :P oh, the song's 对不起我爱你 by fish leong... yupps... haha...

tats all.. bb! c u tmr! lol...

p.s. i love you ...
12am 12am.. 'bu ting bu san'... muahahahaha! lolx.. :P

woots... cip todae... was quite fun... but its scary when i heard dogs barkin... (someone:scary eh~ though the door's closed... :P) ya..

so, reached dere.. saw grace chua and xian wei... then zn came... then more and more ppl came.. was chasin after my phone juz nw.. omg la.. omgomg.. sheesh! wanted to tell someone abt it... but no reply the first msg.. then dunno wat happen... see how tmr ba... hmm... *:(* back to the story... ya.. was chasin after my phone... then saw grace chew... then asked her to help get my phone back.. then win liao... haha! but still, my phone.. *omg!* ahh! omgomgomg! die liao.. die liao...

then after gettin my phone back, went the road there, wantin to usher teachers in... i think... zn,wc,zh,aaron was dere... then waited... zh sat at the dunno-wat-u-call-tat... then wc go squat dere... funny la! *hahahahahaha* then someone called.. forgot who.. then then who knows, the teachers are already dere.. lol... then walked back... then zn and wc started 'blamin' me... omg... lol... haha!

then went collect newspapers... use one lift to move everything down... then someone who wanted to go down was 'delayed' by us.. so sry eh~ ya.. collected quite a lot i think.. the first block... then 2nd block.. was... ya... not much.. i mean half the 2nd block.. ya..

then went hm... muahahaha! got hen da de chang jiu gan liao.. first time walked hm by myself.. from boon keng to farrer park.. lol.. sound easy, but i tiz kind nid-street-directory-whereever-i-go kind of person, tats very good le... :] hehehe! ;)

yupp reached home then studied.. lol... little bit la.. then abt 5 started watchin it started with a kiss... 2 eps... haha!

tats all.. hmm... all tiz happened on sat... found out its already sunday now.. opps... ya so, bb!

*BACK TO HUG CJ7*

p.s. i love you ...
where are you?